Why Castle doesn't have an Emmy
by RGoodfellow64
Summary: I think the title is explanation enough


Why Castle doesn't have an Emmy

By RGoodfellow64

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Disclaimer: Don't own Castle, ABC, Kellogg's, the Emmy's, the Oscars or anything else that might possibly make me a whole bucketful of cash…or give me a black eye.

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_**Somewhere in Hollywood a major meeting is taking place. The producer of the Emmy's and Oscar's is there with his director and writer, trying to calm the fears of the Presidents of those two organizations, as well as the heads of major networks…**_

Producer. "No one watches any more, why?"

Writer. "It can't be my jokes, they're great!"

Director. "Stop talking like Tony the Tiger, everyone knows you never use your best stuff for these shows.

Producer. "Quit arguing! We have to get more viewers, the network demands it!"

Network Exec 1. "Every year the ratings are lower, that means that we can't charge as much for commercial time. If we get to the point where these shows don't give us twice as much as we put in, we're pulling the plug.

Network Exec 2. "Which is why _we_ don't bid on the show anymore."

President of the Oscars: "It has to be the hosts. That's the only thing wrong with the show."

President of the Emmy's: "I agree. It can't possibly be anything else."

Network Exec 1. "Well you people better think up something to make these shows bring in more viewers!" Then he and Network Exec 2 got up and left the meeting.

At this time, a young woman enters the room pushing a cart with coffee, tea and muffins. Setting everything up she hears their conversation and says. "Excuse me, but why don't you nominate shows and movies that people actually like to see?"

Everyone: "WHAT!"

Server: "Why not nominate things people like? Have any of you seen Castle?"

Producer: "Lemme look at my notes here...Castle...Castle...Castle...nope, never seen it."

Server: "Well you should, it's a great show!"

Director: "I've heard of it, but it's one of those procedural shows, there's no culture!"

Writer, who is holding his teacup with pinky finger raised: "Yeah, you got to have culture."

Director: "Gravy tass."

Producer: "I think it's called Gravitas".

Director: "Gravy, gravi, whatever, it doesn't have it."

Server: "But it is a very popular show and TNT bought up the syndication rights for it. It also makes a lot of money."

President of the Oscars: "Money isn't everything."

Director: "I wouldn't mind a little extra for my mortgage."

President of the Emmy's: "Money is crass. We are striving to uplift the human spirit. To make the world a better place!"

Server: "Project Runway does that?"

Producer: "You are obviously not as intelligent as we are; we know what's best for our shows. We only need to add a few more to each category."

Director: "That's right, from 8 to 10 for best picture and add a few more picks for the other categories of both shows!"

Server: "Oh brother."

President of the Emmy's: "You'll see young lady. This year we'll have the highest number of viewers ever!"

Server: "I read your picks on Google, sorry, but I haven't watched the Emmy's in years and I'm not going to this year. You guys made crappy picks."

President of the Oscars: "Just who are you anyway?"

Server: "Someone who likes to go to the movies and watch TV."

President of the Emmy's: "Great Caesars Ghost! They let one of _you_ in here? Someone call Security!"

Server: "I'm leaving. I hope you guys find some sponsors who like shows no one watches, 'cause that's what you're going to have again this year."

Producer: "Should I still call Security?"

Director: "No, she's gone now. How on earth did she ever get a job here?"

Writer: "I wonder if I could write a joke about her for the show."

President of the Emmy's: "That's a great idea. Everyone should know how stupid she is and how much smarter about these things we are."

President of the Oscars: "I agree. Why do we bother with such riff raff?"

Producer: "So what do we do about no one watching?"

Director: "Have another meeting next week?"

President of the Emmy's: "That sounds like a good idea."

President of the Oscars: "I agree. Just don't let that...that...common person show up again!"

Producer: "Ok, meeting adjourned, we'll send out the minutes and set up a time for next week."

Writer: "I'm exhausted, this was so intense!"

Director: "Yeah, I just love meetings where so much is accomplished."

As they are walking out the President of the Oscars turns to the President of the Emmy's and asks: "What's this Castle she mentioned?"

President of the Emmy's: "Some show on TV I guess. I'll check with my secretary and get back to you."

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**AUTHORS NOTE: I wrote this last year and posted on the ABC Castle boards. Guess some things never change.**

**There are some good shows that were nominated for 2012, some good actors and actresses and performances, but come on, really? The same old shows are always the best? There's never anything new that's good enough to get a nod from the Emmy's? Look at the past years and some of these shows are automatically nominated, my gosh, they could just show re-runs from previous years and still get the nod. And what's this with the category for "Reality Shows"? This has gotten beyond ridiculous. Just another reason why I don't even bother to watch these "Award" shows any more. **

**I'm reminded of High School, if you're one of the "cool kids" you're OK and accepted for awards and such, but if you aren't? Forget about it! Not just talking Castle here, there were shows and performers that blew away some of the choices the Emmy folks made, but the cool kids still get the nominations. Ah well, at least they all get to sit around, pat themselves on the back and tell themselves how smart and creative they all are! That has to count for something, right?**


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